09 May Motherhood- The Untold Blessing!
Motherhood is a journey that we all have to embark upon and go through on our own. Yes, if we are super lucky, we will be helped by supportive in-laws, our own parents, super understanding partner, a faithful maid OR we might have to be on our own after a couple of days/weeks/months. But I have heard quite a few moms saying we were not well informed about what we will have to lose or what we might become after having a baby. With due respect, I would want to ask them, if they were told about the nitty-gritty (cons of mommyhood), would they have chosen otherwise?
As mommy to a 4-year-old, I want to share my perspective here. At times when I ponder my thoughts over this, I feel I was blessed that I was not told about those perils of being a mother. Those breastfeeding problems, severe mood swings, lack of sex drive, never-ending sleepless nights, feeling hungry all the time, being paranoid about small things, being alone with my newborn etc – we all have been through all this and more, though in varying degrees. I refer to this unawareness as a blessing because if our moms, mothers-In-Law, friends, sisters would have told us about all these things then we might have been scared to take the plunge.
I think so because our mommy gang could have told about all these things and we would have been scared and believed all this will happen to us.
No one ever would have been able to make us verbally understand the pure joy of just holding her, the comfort of you being the only one who is able to comfort your baby, the ecstasy of seeing this little, fragile being dozing off during a breastfeed, having the power to nurture just with your touch and soothe with your voice, the innocent smile of those lips, twinkling eyes that light up even the grumpy, sleep-deprived you, the joyful disbelief when she says Mumma for the first time, when you and the baby go through her first vaccination and your heart cries out louder than her, the bliss when you reach home after a tiring day at the office and those tiny feet run towards you for a hug, the awe when she achieves her first milestones, the numerous moments when you want her to stay little but are still crying happy to see her grow etc. The list is endless. Even if someone would have told me all this prior to my pregnancy, I would have thought that they are saying so because they want me to be positive and have a baby, that’s it
So honestly, I am happy with the fact that I wasn’t told how severe labour can be or how I could cry at the drop of a hat or how I’ll lose my social life for a while. But yes I had the information I needed. I knew the best positions to be in during later stages of labour, I knew what all exercises I needed to do during pregnancy, I was hesitant but open to whatever changes I needed to make. Nobody can prepare you to be a mother except your own baby. The willingness to be in micro-control is quite natural and addictive in today’s life but this is one time one should let go and swim with the tide. Even if we ensure that we are fully prepared, trust me, one can never be and are bound to stumble somewhere or the other and that is absolutely ok.
So to all those lovely Moms-to-be – please stay healthy, have the right information about pregnancy and childbirth, be sternly positive and then let your motherly instincts and your little one unitedly guide you to take you to a different world.
Happy Mommyhood lovelies! and;
Happy Mother’s Day!
Ajoy Kumar Sinha
Posted at 14:24h, 12 MayMotherhood is considered to be a boon to any women in Indian society. In other words a woman is considered lucky once she becomes a mother.
In earlier generations when women did not know the after effect of being mother, used to have at least two – three children and brought them up with great cheers, thoughthwy faced some problems too. But did not complain as to why they attain motherhood.
Nowadays there are too much materials to know about motherhood, preparations, process and after effect and any other thing some one desires to know.
In such situations, how some one can complain that they were not intimated about the consequences of attaining motherhood.
In my opinion it is hypothetical only.
If any women do not want to attain motherhood she can surely choose her way.
Any information she wants can be available from many sources.
Jagriti Chhabra
Posted at 23:10h, 13 MayThank You for your comment. I totally agree that Motherhood is a boon and my post suggests the same. Motherhood has always demanded sacrifices and compromises in days of yore as well as today. I also agree with the fact that earlier women had multiple children but they did not have an option of not becoming a mother back then, also the after-effects were known to them after becoming a mother for the first time itself, so they knew what was coming with every consecutive child.
The said change in approach towards Motherhood for younger generations might have come due to women having their own careers and responsibilities outside the home while most women in earlier generations were homemakers and caregivers.
Sometimes too much information is also not good and that is why the women, who have the choice of becoming a mother, tend to get overwhelmed and might get stressed out. This piece of writing is for such mothers-to-be and new mothers and I shall be glad if this can make them comfortable with their respective choices and help them to handle their situation in a better way.
Have a great day!