23 Aug Fear of Unknown
The only constant in life is change, said Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher.
We all face changes in our lives. There are natural changes that occur in life for example seasons, day-night etc. and then there are changes we need to make for ourselves, for a better life, a better present and future. But there is something that stops us from embracing change.
It must have happened to all of us at some point in life, it is called – Fear of Unknown.
With all the hopes and dreams of the future, with all our expectations soaring sky-high, with all the perfect situations that we want to come true soon, comes this – ‘Fear of Unknown’ and for a fraction of second it brings all our dream castles crashing down. A new plan, new city, new job, new partner, new home, new locality, marriage, having a baby- anything!
“It is natural and human.”
Picture 1: When you are getting married, even if you have known your partner for years and know them inside out, there is this hesitation, which actually is not for whether everything would be good or not, rather, it is the discomfort of leaving your comfortable surroundings and moving into new one, with new faces, unknown personalities around and maybe a new city or job as well.
Picture 2: You are planning to switch to a new job, looking desperately for it, waiting for some good news every day from the career consultant, checking mail every hour, picking every call because you really want to move ahead in life. Your current boss is not supportive, there is pressure to over-perform, no leaves and there are all the other traumatising policies one can imagine in a workplace. So you badly need to switch. One would say ‘Then go ahead and switch’, ‘what is keeping you from doing it?’ I would say ‘The thought of leaving the comfort zone’.
However absurd this may sound but there is this saying, ‘A known enemy is better than an unknown friend’. This does stops one from going out in open and search for another job wholeheartedly.
So what to do? Can you keep hesitating till a new job finds its way to you, which will not happen till you work on it with heart and soul?
We cannot erase this fear completely as whatever it whispers into our ears is…True.
But here are a few handy tips to keep this monster called – Fear of Unknown, tamed:
- Think about your current situation that you really want to get out of like- I need to shift to a bigger house; I am not able to grow in this job anymore, organisation’s goal is restricting me from achieving my personal goal in life; I need to make friends and have a better social life etc.
- Stay positive and keep reminding yourself of how you overcame the same feeling last time – when last time you shifted home and how gradually your new flat became Home or how your previous job change helped you move closer to your goal in life.
- Think of the benefits for which you want this change; maybe- it’s been a few years of Marriage and you really want to experience parenthood now; or the new job will get you a better position, package and freedom of achieving personal goals in life; or an apartment closer to the workplace will give you a better quality of life.
- Self- talk once a day and genuinely believe that ‘Change is inevitable’ – if you don’t make it happen, it will happen eventually but maybe not the way you will like it. So hold the rein of change in your own hands.
- Have faith in yourself and the people around you who encourage and motivate you. Remember, last time you successfully came out of a similar situation with their support only.
- During tough times, share your thoughts and emotions with your best friend, mother, spouse or anyone you are comfortable with because all you need is a vent and bottling up your feelings will worsen the situation. Most fears, when surpassed, look like they were hyped.
So go ahead and snatch that much-needed change.